Dear Lindsay:

So he ended the affair 5-6 months before the incident you mentioned, the one where her husband discovered the texting. I wonder if the incident you mentioned was a 2nd time (or 3rd) time her husband discovered their communication/ affair. I wonder if he ended the affair after being caught the first time. Obviously, I am suspicious that his concern for his public reputation supersedes his moral values and that he has been giving you partial, selective information.

What strikes me as odd, or a matter of concern, on the first reading, was that after he ended the affair with her and while in a relationship with you, he told you that if she reaches out to him, he will respond, presenting it as a non-negotiable item. And then “he says he does not reach out to either of us“, meaning he will not reach out to her, but he will respond and communicate with her if she reaches out to him? This sounds like a technicality, somewhat dishonest: what does it matter who contacts whom if the result is that there is a to-and-from ongoing communication between them?

anita