Hello Tee and Anita, thank you so much for making the time to help me. Tee, after reading your first post, I decided to change tack and befriend him, less of fatherly stuff. Seemed to work. He started engaging with me and has started coming and spending time with his mother and me, however little, but that’s a big change. Even bigger is that he has agreed to drive with me to a beach resort for New Years (he has so far avoided driving much claiming that he feels car sick). When I first ask his help on driving, he said that just the thought made him queasy. When I pointed out that he was running away from his fears and he needed to confront it sometime, he agreed with me and said OK. Great. He also signed up for the gym. Its a long road ahead, but my wife and I are enthused. Since I took your advice of empathy, I also seemed to have distressed and feeling better. Will plough on. A heartfelt thanks again from a grateful father. Do keep your advice and encouragement coming, that’s important for me. God bless you all!