Dear Anita, thank you for getting back to me 🙂

I definitely don’t expect my parents to be the kind of support system I need at this point in time. And yes, unfortunately, I do still have some anger/resentment toward my family. I actively try and work on this though so I really appreciate spaces like these where I can talk about it. As I said, I think everyone is just trying to do their best with who they are, so it’s more productive to focus on myself and on what I can change for myself.

“Personally, I know that I need to go beyond doing the best with who I am (as in being a constant, remaining the same): I need to become more of who I am: more understanding, more patient, etc. – this really resonated with me – I’m the same way. I once heard a therapist say that some people have the emotional capacity of a tall glass but others only have a teacup-sized emotional capacity. So often, the people with a bigger emotional capacity give much more and expect more in return. Only they can’t get it all back because the teacup-sized capacity people can only give as much as a teacup.

I think this really helped me put into perspective the relationship I have with my family. It helped me manage my expectations of them and also taught me to not pour all of myself out. I hope this makes sense.

Many if not all of the reasons for losing the work gigs had to do with circumstances and conditions out of your control, right? – yes this was generally the case. It’s challenging to not be in control or feel like you don’t have control. Esp when it comes to practical things like jobs/work/income etc. I’m sure many people are experiencing this right now.

My suggestion: add goals in regard to what you do have control over, and make these your primary goals.- when you say primary goals, do you mean breaking them down into smaller, daily goals? So for example: let’s say I need to look for work, a primary goal would then be to search and apply for at least one job a day. Something like this?

I’m also interested in hearing your thoughts about feelings of powerlessness and feeling like a victim. I sometimes struggle to keep these feelings at bay, esp when things are out of my control.