Dear G:

“Six months in, the pandemic started and like most I was left isolated. It was okay at first because I am a homebody but after a while it was too much to bear. I became depressed and unmotivated“- this  is what social isolation does, it makes us depressed and unmotivated. This is true for all social animals, humans included: we derive our energy and motivation from in-person, real-life social interactions. Even homebodies require daily or every-other-day social interactions.

“For almost two years I lived in a small room, alone”- prisoners who are in danger if they are let into the general population in prisons, and are kept isolated in a cell all day for their own physical protection, will beg to be let out into the general population no matter the risk for their lives. Our social needs are as real as our needs for food and water.

“I am now continuing on towards a master’s degree. My ultimate goal is to permanently stay here but I don’t know if it’s what is right for me. Lately, I have been feeling much more unmotivated and lonely. My productivity at school is close to nil. I simply have no motivation to study. Everything is back to normal but I feel like my emotions and mental state is still the same as what it was during the pandemic“- congratulations for earning your bachelor’s degree! What is right for you, no matter where you live and what you do is to interact with other people, and in ways that are meaningful to you.

“Am I feeling these things because I am forcing something that isn’t supposed to be in the first place? Or is this a test from the world?”- I don’t think that it’s either one. I think that what is supposed to be in your life is…  meaningful, daily interactions with other people.

“I feel so lost. I’m already 36 and I’m still stuck trying to find what I have to do or what would make me happy. I should be grateful for this opportunity. Not many from home have the opportunity to study abroad. Is all this worth it? Should I stay even if I am unhappy?“- you desperately need meaningful social interactions in your life ASAP (and it will be worth it!). Without such, you can’t feel grateful or happy about anything. Question is: how can you get this need met?

anita