Dear Lemon Tree:

You are welcome! You shared you are highly social when you feel accepted, but when you feel that you are not accepted, you completely withdraw: “I tend to react strongly and completely withdraw from the social circle… I feel that I’m dead inside and everyone is dead in my eyes… I only shine brightly if I feel (accepted)”- this is making me think about how more productive every workplace would be if all the employees felt accepted… and how healthier a family would be if all members of the family felt accepted!

“I’m a superstar, within a short time I already have returning customers asking me for recommendations and I close a lot of good sales… I’m a natural leader…. I am only at the tills about 1.5 hours a day, there are staff being there the whole time about 8+ hours a day, and I end up making even more sales than them… So not only am I good at sales (and merchandising as well, I have an artistic flair) I have a good commercial acumen too.. and I am crazy when it comes to driving sales. I exceed my personal target by about 3 times on an average day, and I spend significantly less time than others on sales due to other responsibilities“-

-it is wonderful that you have these valuable skills and talents and that you are functioning exceedingly well at the workplace! Be cautious though in regard to this high that you feel: as great as it feels, it can end with you crashing. Think of this imagery: you are driving a car real fast, you feel great racing it, but racing for too long… is likely to end with a crash.

“I truly value teamwork where everyone is on the same page… I have established myself as someone that is reliable, driven and friendly (although it is contingent on whether I get along well with that person)… Giraffe acting like she is in charge…  she is both incompetent and irresponsible… to me she is dead… I can’t deal with people that I absolutely hate)” –

-to succeed as part of a team, you can’t have another part of the team be dead to you, not for as long as the other person works where you work. You have to find a way to not HATE any work colleague who you disapprove f, and to not OVERREACT to what they say and do. Same applies to you working as a manager: for as long as you have to work with the people you work with, you can’t have them dead to you.

“However I constantly feel that I am ‘underachieving’… I want the same validation that I would get if I decided to be a doctor instead, which I don’t…when I do not get recognition from him for what I do (including work) then I feel that I have ‘underachieved’ socially“- if I understand this correctly, you need your manager/ work colleagues to acknowledge and praise you for your superior skills, talents and success at work, and when you don’t get this acknowledgement and praise you feel disappointed with yourself.. maybe angry with those who do not acknowledge and praise you?

anita