Sorry for rambling on. I think I might have sounded a bit confusing, and I would like to explain if it didn’t .ake sense. Because I’m too sure if I have been understood correctly.

So I believe that for most people,

SOCIETY: You should do well in your studies, you should be promoted to higher ranks, and you should make a lot of money.

SELF: I want to do well in my studies, I want to be promoted to higher ranks, and I want to make a lot of money.

Because societal expectations are aligned with what they want to achieve for themselves, then if they meet the above criteria, then they have a sense of achievement, and they also feel that their efforts have been recognized.

However, for me, and I believe some others who are also high performing and might fly under the radar,

SOCIETY: You should do well in your studies, you should be promoted to higher ranks, and you should make a lot of money.

SELF (In my case): I don’t think it matters if I study or not, I so not want to be promoted to higher ranks, I do not make a lot of money and I don’t need to. I want to be strong, happy and calm all the time. I love gardening.

I do not think my goals have anything to do with competence, or whether I am performing well. I have been able to meet the societal expectations, and in this regard, I have been an “overachiever” as I possess the qualities that would make me do really well. However, I also feel that I have underachieved because I am only working towards my own goals (i.e. SELF). In terms of recognition, I do not want to be praised for what I have done to fulfill the societal expectations, I know I have done well enough in my studies and I have had many opportunities to advance in my career. I want others to recognize the fact that I am working towards my goals and not to always focus on the fact that I am being an “overachiever”. I feel that I have been poorly understood in this regard.

For me, I think if someone gas the same expectations as the ones around them (i.e. what society thinks), it is kind of easy to make sense of what achievement means to them.

However I do not think it is the same for me, and I have not been validated for pursuing my goals (which to most people is only climbing the corporate ladder and making more money, etc.) I am not sure how well I am doing, and I am still working towards my goal, for example, making sense of how to navigate the world of sales and finding happiness through it, it makes me feel that I have underachieved.