Dear Anita

I’m on my lunch break now, so I’ll quickly reply to you. I would love to have Cinnamon knock on my door. It is almost like Winnie the Pooh from the woods!

Thank you for using the meerkat as a metaphor, it makes perfect sense to me, and I believe you’re absolutely correct in your analysis. I guess you’re in saying that I’m self selected to protect the tribe, when it is not always what the group assigns me to do, also I’m dealing with people inside of the tribe, not someone else, so in this sense, it will be an awkward situation, even though it is my nature to look out for danger and offer protection to the ones around me.

Yes, as a meerkat, I have sharp teeth, and I can digest poisonous animals too! It is a good thing for me think about. I guess you’re right, no matter what the situation is, ultimately, it is up to me, to deal with the issues that I’m facing.

Also you’re right about that, I think I’ve carried the traumas with me, even though I’m physically and emotionally distanced from the ones who have hurt me.

I think one of the solutions for the problems that you have listed in your response is that I will have to find my tribe.

The reason why I have not been functioning well in the environment that I’m in is that I’m possibly the only meerkat in a pack of wolves, so we’re not the same.

If I find the meerkats, who can function well together, and each person plays the role that they’re meant to me, I can make good use of my talents and skills.

Also sometimes I will have to take a leap of faith. I do not trust most people, as the ones that were closest to me (i.e. family) were the ones that did the most damage to me. But as you said, not everyone is going to blame me for whatever that is going on, and it doesn’t mean that I will always be a failure. I guess it takes the right time, space and people to help me realize my potential.

Just an update: (I do not want to talk too much about my situation, as I have already mentioned a lot of details, and I don’t want to reveal my identity.) One of my close relatives has recently passed, and I happened to share it with my coworkers (as I was talking about how stressful on the day when I was the only one on the second team, and there have been problems that I couldn’t solve all by myself). To my surprise, my coworkers on the main team are actually really supportive, and they mentioned how they would keep an eye on me so that I wouldn’t strain myself too much.

Also I was really surprised the manager actually knew what was going on with the teams. The main team was the ones that she hand picked by herself, to support her operations. The second team consisted of mainly the ones that were managed by someone else before. So the atmosphere was completely different, and how things were done before were actually completely the opposite of what we’re doing now. I am beginning to trust my manager. The store that she has managed was the number one in our retail chain. So despite a little bit of inconsistencies, if I focus on the big picture, our main team has actually made a lot of contributions towards the overall performance of our store which has improved significantly since we joined the company.

Also she has been negotiating with the big boss to see if it is possible at all for the two teams to not mix up in the roster, as it is hard for her to manage the old team (i.e. second team) as well. Even though most of them are casuals, (I believe it is to do with their age, in my opinion, I might have been the same. They’re only about 20 years old, maybe not even, and their egos are getting in the way of actually getting things done), they are able to argue with the big boss about why the new manager is not making sense.

The fact that the manager addressed the issue openly with the new team, and told me that she values both Bear and me, and believes that we will work seamlessly as a team is something that I didn’t expect. She is a good manager. And I do believe that we can work cohesively. She has given us the new roster (still a few adjustments have to be made), that clearly shows the divide between the two teams with little to no overlapping, and the main team is there 6 out of 7 days a week.

I’m so relieved that I’m not alone, and the fact that I might have the other meerkats now, makes me feel that I have not wasted my time. With that, I am happy to not delve into what happened with the money that is gone.

With the new team dynamics I can start a completely new chapter (not only a page), and I believe together we can achieve success.

I think the new team is going to be here for the long term. Or hopefully. Yes.