“I once read somewhere ‘.. narcissists and other people with manipulative tendencies… want to mess with your mind’…  if you see the situation clearly, that would certainly help you to RESPOND well to it much better, and not react out of desperation, but the aim of our parents was to distort the reality of ours, so we wouldn’t see them at fault, and we wouldn’t trust our judgment… then we would be a punching bags who are not going to resist, and that would be an ideal situation for them“-

-it amazes me that they, the parents who manipulate their children this way, did not study how to do this in school. Parents who did not attend any school at all, not even grammar school (let alone a university), parents with a lower IQ perform this manipulation successfully.  This means that this parental manipulation has been passed on from one generation to the next for hundreds of years, and it’s almost instinctive for many.

But for the victims of this manipulation, it takes a higher IQ, education and years of hard work to undo the mess created by this manipulation. Those who do not undo it, repeat it to their children, and this tradition continues.

“Most of criminals are not born bad, they become messed up… some of them don’t get a chance to get a better life at no point, and that`s just heart breaking“- there are convicted murderers (Leslie Van Houten comes to mind, one of Charles Manson’s followers who was imprisoned at 19 and is now 72 years old) who has done a lot of good in prison, for other inmates.

“You are going to be more free in the future for sure. Hopefully me too“- as 2022 comes to a close, how about a freer 2023 for you and for me?!

“Thank you for your understanding, I should add about that doctor: I have no doubt that he was way out of the line to say the least, and very cruel to me. Whatever I said to him, he was absolutely deserving it. I meant other people as my aunt and the step mom and other people who crossed me and took me for a sucker.. I feel like in some cases, I went 180 degree different, and that was very weird in their point of view, or suddenly exploded, and it was so shocking“-

– You are welcome. The paragraph I quoted right above reminds me that you shared earlier that- like me- you too were diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I understand that the heart doctor, your aunt and step mother deserved some, if not all of your angry words, but what about “other people who crossed (you)”, did all of them deserve your words and sudden explosions?

Also, how did you feel when exploding at the doctor.. and after: was it all joy or was there a conflict within you, some leftover distress over it?

anita