Dear Farnaz:

“I was  diagnosed with BPD based on the sense of abandonment once someone ignores me… I thought (people) were sitting somewhere trying to ignore me on purpose. I don’t think like that anymore, once I started to work… I don’t have that rage I used to have, and I don’t feel that emptiness I used to feel“-  excellent, you made significant progress!!!

“I was there when I was constantly talking behind someone back, (someone) who hurt me, over and over, I admit I’m still doing it“- is this part of your objective in your thread: to vent about people who hurt you (ex., your step-mother), so to release tension?

“I could feel that putting a lot of thoughts and talking makes me suffer for longer period. It’s not for me“- do you mean that sharing too much about.. let’s say, your step-mother, makes you suffer more; and therefore some sharing makes you feel better (venting) but too much sharing makes you feel worse?

anita