Dear Ashley:

I suppose that he will need to trust you to not become aggressive with him again, and you will need to trust him to not cheat on you again. This can be a deal between the two of you: you earn his trust (no aggression), and he earns your trust (no cheating).

Problem is that you are already anxious when you don’t know where he is (“We don’t live together at the moment, so I’m worried about what he’s doing when I’m not around”), and if you live together and he is late, or he is at work.. or meeting his ex because of the son they share, you’ll probably be anxious, wondering what’s happening. So, getting back together with him in itself is a cause for anxiety.

It is a good thing that you started therapy: did you talk with your therapist and psychiatrist about the likelihood that getting back together with your husband will increase your  increase your anxiety, at least for some time?

anita