Hi Palegazesunnidays

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had so much trauma in your life. Have you ever seen a therapist about this?

I noticed at least one pattern in your dating life. When you experience difficulties you seek out a partner. You’ve done this on at least 2 occasions once after your divorce and now with A as you are dealing with a lot of stress at home. You said that it is difficult for you to say no to people when you are already struggling. This means that you might struggle with maintaining healthy boundaries and making good decisions in regards to dating at this time.

I’m curious what initially attracted you to individuals in your dating life and any reasons why you decided to break up.

For individuals with trauma, there is a unique situation which often occurs during dating. Essentially, it causes an attraction to individuals with characteristics that have the potential to cause further trauma. This might be something as simple as selecting a partner that is unable to meet your needs. This attraction is instinctive. It’s not a conscious decision, but it can be overcome with therapy.

It sounds like you grew up in a dysfunctional household with parents that both struggled. It sounds like you and your brother in some ways had to fend for yourselves. Is this an accurate assessment of the situation? It sounds like your brother gave up, but you found your own way to survive. I mean no disrespect to your parents, it is difficult to raise a family.