Hi Gay

I’m sorry to hear about your your mother’s death, your complicated circumstances and that you previously experienced an abusive marriage.

It seems you both knew that he was unable to remarry until his divorce finalised. On some level that made his proposal dishonest.

He goes on to blame you and call you negative and depressing. When you have been honest and realistic about his situation.

I would suggest that he might not be violent. But he has habits of over-reacting to normal situations. A pre-marital check is very normal for  international relationships. He is someone who blames and punishes. When you did something perfectly reasonable, he broke up with you and subtly insults you. He lies, preferring to live in denial about his situation and fantasise. These are things I would consider forms of verbal abuse.

You are worth more than crumbs. Someone who has been through so much deserves a wonderful relationship.