@anita – that is very kind of you to say and I wholeheartedly understand. I see you a lot on these forums and it looks like your contributions have been helpful to many. You have already shared a lot and helped many people!

That’s a really deep insight about fear and I believe you are spot on. It’s funny how animals like dogs can point us in the right direction! I actually think my husband is scared of strong emotions themselves and has low tolerance of distress. I think there is some kind of escape reaction, a fight/flight response and a need to lash out and get away. I don’t think this will be very easy for him to change without a dedicated practice where he explores this, and a therapist could be helpful. It really needs rewiring. At the same time, I also see how I get panicky myself very quickly because it triggers me when he becomes hostile and “blocks me out”, so to speak. So we get into a spiral of reacting to each other!