Hi Alina,

Thank you for your input. I don’t know what your situation is so there is no way for me to determine if there is any correlation or similarity.

The relationship I described is not toxic (in my opinion, anyways), is simply lacked commitment on one side. I was never manipulated and he expressed from the very beginning he did not want to be exclusive (even tho we both stopped seeing other people after some time). I was ok with it until I was not so I had to tell him and express what my boundaries are. At no point was I uncomfortable, once I knew I wanted to be exclusive, I stated that and said if that is not what he wanted I am ok with it but cannot continue.

I dated a manipulative person years ago and I am  confident I can smell manipulation from around the corner :), that relationship ended, among other things, also because he did not like that I would not be manipulated.

I am not sure what you mean by him punishing me by going mute, we spoke about things openly many times and we never ceased contact, once I knew I wanted to be committed I asked him to take some time and no to reach out or talk to me so that we both can have space to think (this was weeks of no contact then, upon my request).

I hope that clarifies some of your concerns. I know exactly what I want and what I would not settle for, ever.

I wish you strength coming out of what was in your relationship past and I hope healing is going well, it is sometimes hard as it is not linear. All the best.