Hi Tee,
“Is this woman the same woman you had a long-distance relationship with, and then she broke it off when you couldn’t travel to her country (sometime in 2019)? ”
no, they are not the same persons. This one lived in my country.

“Is it because you believe that you will be hurt like that again? That you can’t trust any woman?”

Yex exactly. Although I know this is not a rational conclusion but the fear is there. Especially if the anger and bitterness are always there, it is affecting my thoughts about having a relationship with someone else in the future.

“In your previous thread you mentioned that your first relationship was with a woman 12 yrs older than you, who only contacted you when she needed something from you.”

This woman is the very woman that I’m talking about now! We got back together. This woman who got the apartment is my first girlfriend that I described in my first thread as my first girlfriend and OMG! Even back then I knew everything and described her yet I kept dating her. I just checked this is from my thread in 2019 here, describing her:

“I was 19-21 yeas old when I was with her and during that time I was dealing with a lot of problems with her life and her daughters. she was in problems all the time and when she didn’t have problems, she didn’t send message to me even. she left me suddenly over and over when she was in the good mood. but when she had a problem, she sent me a message and I was there to be with her and helping. those 3 years was absolutely​ bad.”

Now I feel embarrassed besides anger and bitterness…

Thank you for pointing out all of these. Now I see I have more problems so solve than I thought…