Thank you Anita.

I understand the connection to my childhood, but the truth is I was selfish and blind to the future and the possible ramifications of what I was doing, even though in the back of mind I knew it was wrong and could lose her – and I did. I am supposed to be a fairly bright and rational man, and I go do something like that to cause this amount of pain and suffering. I can only try and get well and move on and never, ever treat a woman (or anybody) like that again, especially one so wonderful and precious to me. But moving on will bring it’s own new difficulties because of this incident, but I will have to deal with that if I ever get in the position to do so. I miss her deeply but my stupidity and short sightedness of the future took her from me. Now she has a new life and I am in utter misery and will be for the foreseeable future. I knew I should have tried harder in the relationship and I knew I shouldn’t have taken her for granted, but curse my soul I did. It cuts deep that I didn’t do more and appreciate and love wholeheartedly what I had at the time. All too late now though. Apologies if I am rambling but I am in utter emotional agony with the confirmation that she has a new partner (I cannot believe I am typing this, and the tears are rolling). It hurts so much. It really hurts.

G