Anita,

This is exactly it. It’s what we’ve been talking about, me and him. I learned recently about a horrible relationship he had in college that essentially set him for the un-skills I bore the brunt of. This man in college was emotionally abusive to him and he thought the experience he was living was normal. It absolutely doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it gave me more context as to why this was something so deeply hidden. There was a lot of shame tied to it and he wanted to regain control by controlling what he could when he had a relapse. And that was cheating and chasing unattainable outlets that left him feeling worse. Tons of empathy for him, but my own feelings of betrayal and deceit come first.