“I am worried that she is staying away specifically from me“- In the realm of possibilities, it is unfortunately possible (I have no reason to think that this is the case here) that rather than her fitting The Avoidant Attachment Style, she fits (and I am making up the term here) The Breakup Confrontational Avoidant Style. Many people, when breaking up with a partner, instead of doing it directly, which they perceive to be a confrontation, something unpleasant, they go about it indirectly, disappearing from the person’s life and hoping that the message will sink in over time.

I hate to bring this possibility up but it’s not like this is a new possibility in your mind. You’re already worried about it. Since you’ve known her for a while, is she a confrontational avoidant person in the context of her work, family, friends…?

Well, I don’t like the thought of that… Obviously it’s been consuming my mind for the last week and more. I don’t know. Of course it is possible. I can’t comprehend why that would be the case because I know she loves me. I mentioned in my original post that her behaviour in all the time we’ve been together has always been consistent. Consistently positive, I.E: warm, affectionate, loving, caring.

I would even say that the dynamic had changed. Where in the first couple of months, I was the one who did more of the pursuing and chasing, until she started to reciprocrate and, at some point, it turned into a full-fledged relationship. But after a while – starting maybe about three to four months ago –  she was the one who started to become the more engaged of the two (not to say that my engagement in the relationship dropped off, becaue it didn’t.) But I could tell because she was giving me even more attention and was looking to be more connected and committed to the relationship. And I accepted that and reciprocated it whole-heartedly.

We really didn’t have any issues. This is what is so painful and confusing. There were no signs whatsoever that something was wrong with our relationship.

So, I don’t know. I only know what she tells me. That she is experiencing negative things that don’t appear to have anything to do with me. That she is feeling depressed largely because of the situation with her mother and it is affecting her in all facets of her life, not just our relationship. She even assured me once that the problem isn’t me and that if it was she would tell me.

So, of course my mind wanders to all the possibilities. But unless she has been lying to my face this entire time and making up this excuse that she is depressed… That would be pretty cruel and heartbreaking. But how am I to know if she is trying to indirectly break-up or if she is actually seriously depressed and emotionally drained and actually just needs some space.

It gets to the point where I can’t even trust my own mind. I don’t know what to believe and whether the thing I believe in one moment is the rational thing to believe or if it is paranoia clouding my judgment?

I don’t know. For now, I guess I have to take her word for it, and, let time take its course.