Hi Mr A

I’m glad that you are offering her as much help as she wants. That is very kind of you. It sounds like she has made up her mind that she doesn’t want to work on her weight. There is nothing that you can do to change her mind if this is the case.

Acknowledging that her wishes, desires and responsibilities are not yours is one way to see the situation.

Imagine two people living together, one messy, one neat. The neat person gets upset by all of the mess. The messy person doesn’t notice the mess. The messy person is upset by the neat person being mad at them.

The only way for everyone to be happy is for the neat person to only focus on what they wish to do for themselves. To make themselves happy. People just have different standards, different desires and different motivations.

Your wife is an entirely separate and uniquely different person to you.

To have discipline, motivation is needed. To have  motivation it helps a lot if you are unhappy on some level.

It sounds like food offers her a sense of comfort, a temporary happiness if you will.

She is in a desperately unhappy situation. Failed pregnancies and a husband who seems to actively dislike her.

Can you change that you dislike your wife? Do you want to? Tommy had some really good advice.

I don’t know if she was ever pregnant. But losing a pregnancy means a lot more to women. There is a physical connection very early. It is not just an idea of a future child. There is a lot of grief and sorrow losing a baby. It often ends relationships.

Your wife may need therapy to work though various things that may be upsetting her.

Your wife may be unwilling to give up the only nice thing that you think about her. At least she cooks and cleans and works. She may not prioritise anything else while your opinion of her life is so low.

Wishing you all the best! ❤️🙏