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Reply To: I try setting boundaries and fail a lot

HomeForumsRelationshipsI try setting boundaries and fail a lotReply To: I try setting boundaries and fail a lot

#436285
Susmita
Participant

I would say, having regular weekly time together for 30-40 minutes to build good relationship based on effective honest & heartful communication may ease some of the tensions in new relations with boundaries.

During this time we can sit and hold hands and connect gently with loving gaze as friends. We have different personalities, different way of looking at things, different values and needs for boundaries. Often we misunderstand each other if these values and needs (behind boundaries) are not communicated or respected. None of us grew up in families where these skills are taught by parents or other caregivers. Each week each person can agree to give their partner a gift they value or need. Unconscious, impulsive behaviors are habits that are based on some unconscious belief. We may not be able to fully give or receive the gift asked for in the first week or even a month. So patience, good listening and kind speech are the keys. Just having a fun and playful process of  mindful speaking and listening with color pens, candle and cards for building a good foundation of respectful loving relationship can go a long way if both are committed to it. Appreciate each others effort and goodwill. Hope this helps.