thank you for the reply, Matt. you are spot-on on many topics here – the impatience angle is huge with me and i am working on that – i guess the challenge with the woman in this is she was a good friend before this and to have it cut off with no discussion between us feels rough – not to mention she is good friends with a number of people here at work so while i don’t see her, i hear of her and know others get together with her in groups i used to “belong to”….a hard lesson, indeed, and no doubt a slippery slope i was on – even if i was there alone (ie she might have been just flirting for fun) – i got to this ripe age without ever being in a situation close to this (oh sure, i mis-behaved in some relationships before but i was in my early 20s and the rules on both sides were “all is fair in love and war”) – like i said in my first post, what hurts most is that i i made a woman so uncomfortable she had to end contact