Dear Zita,

You arent bothering me 🙂 Dont worry about that atleast!

Consider this thought very deeply – “Holding on to anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. Deep down, you’re still attached to him, arent you? Earlier to make you feel good and now to make you feel like all this suffering has some meaning. Seeing him so normal and happy fills you with rage because it makes your emotions seem out of place. Since you cant do anything about how he feels, you want to take out that anger on yourself..perhaps hoping that if you hurt yourself enough, he’ll finally notice your pain and it will be worthwhile. The more you hold on to him, the worse it will feel.

No matter how painful this will sound, i will say this to you – Perhaps he has moved on much before you. Perhaps he will find someone else and forget you. Zita, you can only live your life. He cant live your feelings or thoughts. You’re still attached him though. Do you honestly think this one person is worth so much of trouble?

Isnt there more to you than wanting to hurt this person by hurting yourself?

Please do understand that such feelings, including many more will crop up. Remember that you’re not only your feelings alone. There is a long way to go and giving so much power to one person over your well-being is something you need to think about. Right now, i would suggest you start with metta meditation and stay busy – make plans, keep doing something fun and journal a lot as well. Two things that really helped me was dancing, exercise and walks in nature with some soothing music on. I used to pray a lot when i felt really sad and alone. I admit i used to imagine God in pink with those golden clouds and a orange unicorn and it was pretty nice to talk to him.

For now, try to avoid any contact with him – dont check his facebook or try to find out about him. Its harder said than done but it will aid in your recovery. The more you work on yourself, the better your world will begin to feel. These thoughts will subside once you start calming down. I know that is just a temporary thing and you’re a very sensible person. You’re going to be alright.

Who knows, maybe if you meet him after a few months, he might be amazed at how much cooler/comfortable you’ve become with yourself? That could be a positive way to make him realize what he lost 😛 and that change will help you for life.

Think about it 🙂