Jessa

Thank you so much for reaching out!

Much of what you say rings true. Over the past 6-8 months, roughly. It has probably been the most trying yet enlightening period I’ve experienced, and for that I was very thankful. Before this initial incident, I believe I had convinced myself that I had it “all figured out”, when in truth, this wasn’t the case. If anything, this exposed that. I suppressed most of my initial feelings on the incident, and think they are working there way through me now. I know our judgments and reactions can often be mirrors of ourselves, and i’m fairly certain it’s currently my case. A part of me feels embarrassed and shameful, another part feels angry at them for “leading me on” and myself for “playing along”. It’s like I feel “violated” to a degree. I value honesty and respect in all relationships, friends or more, superficial or intimate, and the lack of it even in this small instance infuriates me. And of course, i’m so highly critical of myself, I give myself little to no room for err. I do want to focus more however, on loving myself, and on the people in my life who I know love me as well. As you said, I know the road won’t be easy, but i’m sure it’s worth it.

Thank you very much again Jessa
Best
Bruce