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Reply To: Bit of advice please

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#55851
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Participant

First of all thank you for the replies. Ultimately I know it comes down to me. Just to answer a few questions that you guys have asked.

She was friends with this work mate before I came onto the scene. But I could see he always had a thing for her even when we were together. We broke up and yea within the 4-5 months they started seeing eachother.

She tells me the only reason why shes putting it off (And she agrees this is an easy way out) is that he’s currently looking for a new job & I guess is kinda hoping he gets it so she doesn’t have to face him on a day to day basis after she does it. And at the moment they’re doing projects together within the company, so ending it is going to make that very awkward. In which i understand, but it comes down to keeping this professional aswell. Yes it will be awkward but if this is something you want, and mean everything she says, it still should be no problem. I agree with what was said up further, that she probably is scared that she’s going to lose him as a friend, but she most likely is going to, and also I do think she is afraid to put her feelings first. I feel shes scared of hurting his feelings but in doing this, she’s hurting mine.

She has promised me it’ll be ended within 3 weeks. I guess now I have to suck it up for 3 weeks, love her from a distance and go from there. I’ve given the 3 weeks to myself and that’s it, if it’s not done by then I have to walk away and move on and let her know I won’t be sitting waiting. It’s gone on long enough.

The stuff she has said to me isn’t just your normal I love you’s like ive explained. It has involved both of our families and more, so it’s not stuff you just throw around willy nilly.

The trusting her you’re right is very hard at the moment. And it will continue to be like this until she does end it. I know that’ll be a weight off my shoulders, and even hers.

She’s told me she wished she never ever got in this situation with him, she would’ve never done it if she knew that we ever had another chance of getting back together. But she has, and that’s something she’s going to have to face if she does want us.

Thank you for your replies, as i’ve seen in them everyone basically agrees with, if she loves me, she should have no problem sorting this out asap. This is the bit im struggling to deal with. Like I said i’ve put a timeline on this, and she has promised. So 3 weeks (End of May) has promised it will be all sorted. Time will tell. For now loving from a distance, and not initiating contact or catchups!

Thanks you