ThirdEyePoke,
I would encourage you to be less judgmental of yourself and your situation. At the end of your post, you offer two solutions: accept you were never in love and let her go, or “man up” and try your best to love her. This implies you see the latter choice as the “right” one, the honorable choice and I’m just not sure it’s true. Yes, you are presented with two paths, but ask yourself what do you truly want, in your heart and soul? You allude throughout your post of things not being right with your relationship with this girl. You take accountability for your part in it, which is admirable, but there are also things that boil down to compatibility and fit. It is not your responsibility to “take care of” another person at the cost of your own happiness and mental health. Everybody “deserves” to be loved, but just because you “chose” her to date does not mean you are forever obligated to make sacrifices in order to be with her. I encourage you to read up on codependency and see if any of it resonates with you.

Kelly