Saltana, I’m glad this forum has helped guide you to find the right path for you and your relationship. Speaking strictly as a member of the peanut gallery with zero investment in your personal circumstances, I’d respectfully ask you to reconsider the ultimatum about the son. This boy is not some random housemate, he is the son of your partner. It is a parent’s responsibility to care for and nurture his children until they are of the age and ability to make it on their own. At the risk of sounding judgmental, your position that it’s “the son or me” is rather uncompromising and frankly, selfish. You ask “Is it right for him to put his son before us?” I don’t think he’s putting the son BEFORE you, he is fulfilling his parental responsibility. It would seem you are the one attempting to put yourself before the son. Children are not disposable. That’s not to say your partner shouldn’t look to enforce some better rules and boundaries with him. You have every right to live in an environment that enables you to be happy and healthy, so if living with his son does not work for you, so be it. It just seems there should be a way you can work through this together without booting out the child. Forgive me as there is probably a kinder way for me to make this point. I was a child of divorce and it would break my heart to think my dad would choose a relationship with a woman over me. Likewise, I was a loving stepmother to my (now ex) partner’s teenage son. Children deserve to be nurtured and loved, not thrown out with the rubbish to fend for themselves in an enviroment that is clearly distressing (his mother’s house in this case). My best to you.