Hi John

It sounds from your post that there is a lot going on in your mind just now, your feelings for your girlfriend being just one of a whole range of things. You mention an emotional time with stresses at work, and you feel the need to run away. I don’t want to put words in your mouth, but is your reaction to your girlfriend at this time something that is becoming more of a focal point at a time when your mind has so much going on, rather than necessarily about her?

It might well be that your feelings are changing and are less strong than before. But it may also be (I’ve done this myself in long term relationships when facing a crisis in my life) that you are pushing away the person who is nearest because you want to push away everything just now. You mention that she is ‘really nice’ and doing everything she can for you now. Is there some part of you that sees yourself as unworthy of this level of devotion right now, and therefore she is somehow unappealing to you?

If you have a lot to deal with and you want to run away, can you take time out in a different sense? Get some fresh air, some sea or some countryside, take a few days on your own without it being a case of throwing the whole thing away? I’m not sure about your parent situation but running to others may help, or you may need some head space.

it does sound from what you have said that there are issues in the relationship, but perhaps you won’t be able to sort them out without sorting other things first. You should re-read your paragraph that starts “I want to be happy now”. There are so many posts on here about happiness and its pursuit. Happiness really does come from within, you can’t rely on her to make you happy ( and reject her when you are not). Do some reading, do some mindfulness, think about what you have. and then if you still feel its the relationship that is the issue, you must talk and be honest with her. You must always be honest.

I hope this helps in some way.