Hi Sophie,
I am sorry for your pain. Your situation sure sounds troubling. When he moved with you to a different state, was this the first time you’ve lived together? Do you think it’s possible he’s having a hard time adjusting to moving away from his familiar life, plus the growing pains of moving in together (if this is the first time)? It seems odd that he would ask your parents for permission to propose and then within a month of that, he’s showing signs of cold feet. However, maybe the blow of the “break up” really shook him and hurt him more than you might think. How did the proposal come about? Was it something you’ve been discussing together or did he surprise you? Do you think he felt pressured in any way to propose? Sorry for the 20 questions but it’s hard for me to offer any advice without understanding a bit more. Others on the board may have thoughts for you right off the bat.

If it were me, I would probably give it a bit of time – it sounds like there’s been a lot of change in the past month or so and maybe you just need to allow things to settle. I agree that after two years together, you would likely know if this is a person you want to marry, but if the “break up” was the first time you’ve had a serious disagreement (I’m basing this on the fact you said the two years prior were wonderful) it might take time to heal from that. I think a certain amount of level setting/reconsidering the marriage plans is healthy given the circumstances. Then again, I can empathize with your position that you know what you want and don’t feel like you should have to wait. As for the graduation, I would still plan to attend unless you’re prepared to make a really strong statement to not only him but his family.