Hi @nea4 and @deemarika. Breakups of relationships are probably the hardest thing you’ll ever go through and then, within the category of relationships, being led on by a coward who is incapable of finalising something because they’re just as scared is one of the most callous ways to be treated. I’m familiar with this because it’s happened to me in most of my relationships. See, I don’t know what makes me like this but I’m nearly always the ‘dumpee’ and the other person, the girl, is nearly always the ‘dumper’. Perhaps I’m genetically and pathologically predisposed to being the ‘dumpee’, it’s who I am, so I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it. At the same time, you need to understand when something is no longer working – even if it appears to be working – because it’s only going to extend the pain. Most of my relationships have been with women much younger than me so that’s probably why we end up with (irreconcilable) problems but, like you, I’m always the one putting in the effort, the one trying to constructively progress the relationship, and carry it into something more meaningful. Others don’t want to improve, in fact they do as much as they can to not improve it because at some point they changed their feelings.

It’s hard now, but it’s better to hit the problem head on and accept it’s over rather than refuse to accept something obvious and let the assumptions and expectations continue to eat away at you over a much longer period. Maybe telling him that and stopping all communication for a while would be the best thing to do, then you can see what happens and maybe go from there. It’s very hard, so very hard. For me, I turned off all social media for a week just to see what would happen. Just like that, it was hard for the first few days, but then you start to see some benefits. Surround yourself with friends if you can, or talk to people like us on places like this to leave your worried mind.

Hope you can feel more positive about the situation soon. xoxo