@blaice Wow is what i said to myself as i read the post. I have been in a relationship for 6 years. Things went left about 3 years ago. So many to even list, but the point is that things were done to me that until this day have left me, more than anything, confused. Reason for this confusion, in my mind, has always been because i never got any closure to the arguments troubles that he put me through. I still think of everything to this day. I have made myself believe that the reason i still do this is because i never got any closure. He didn’t cheat but I’ll put that as the example. He cheats, begs for forgiveness, but gives no explanation. Only gives apologies. You fight about it, cry about it, go insane about it, lose sleep, don’t eat, and cry some more. But no explanation as to why the behavior or actions were made. And you stay with him. Move on as if nothing happened. This has happened more times than i can count in my relationship. Not the cheating part. The no explanation, move on (but not really move on) as if nothing happened part. For me, not being able to understand the “WHY” is what has crippled me. Out of no where (like flashbacks you get of a terrible accident) i start thinking of that very first thing he did. Then comes that second thing…you get the point. I blame it all on not getting any closure from those “things” that happened. Things he did to me, to our relationship, to our trust. My therapist said it’s because im in shock. That I am mentally in SHOCK. Lol. Yeah, in shock that i can actually be in shock over something like this. Anyway, i didn’t mean to go on and on like this. Reading your post made me think…why can’t i simply take it as what it was and actually move on from it. I’m obviously still with him so it’s not like i don’t want to forgive and forget. I do. That’s the problem. He has made changes, so why am i still reflecting on things that happened 3 years ago? Let these thoughts take over and cripple me? Because i didn’t get “closure” or a straight up answer or explanation?