The problem is that you blame yourself. You shouldn’t do that. But you could blame yourself for caring too much for people who don’t deserve it. Don’t believe when they say harsh things to you. They have their own issues, you shouldn’t take it personally. It is not personally. It’s all about them. Everything they say or think. You wanted this to work out, you tried enough. Please remember that if someone really wants to be with you they will be with you. And they will treat you so good.

I know this is hard. It is really hard when things don’t work out when you want them to work out so desperately. But that’s just how it is. You have to accept it. That’s all you have to do. Be sad, cry until you have no tears left, accept the pain you’re feeling. Accept the situation and learn from it. If you learn from an experience, that experience will never happen again, because you learnt your lesson. ( Oh, and by the way don’t try to forget about your hurt by working so much you can’t think. You should accept it, you should get over it not pretend it doesn’t hurt anymore. If you really want to heal yourself, deal with the pain !)

From my point of view, the lesson you should learn ( so that you can truly be happy with someone) is to love yourself and respect yourself. You don’t have to humiliate yourself just so that others accept you. If you want to be respected, you have to ask for it and show you deserve it. You have to be sincere from the start and you have to ask him what he wants from you, from the relationship. You have the right to know. You two have the right to know what you actually want from each other and from your relationship. Be true from the start. Talk about it. And when you know you are right, don’t make the first move to make things good. Let him do it, if he has to do it and if he was wrong.

Also, when you see that he does things that you don’t deserve, just tell him. If you will not say anything about it he will continue to do so. And every time you’ll think it’s your fault, when in reality it isn’t. Speak up !