Anthony,

I’m sorry for your loss, and can understand the gravity ex partners can have on us. I assume you’ve heard lots and lots of opinions, so instead, consider a little stick. She was addicted to drugs, and you are addicted to her. Her drama, the way she pulled you into highs and lows. Yearning for the high “missing the rush of her”, vomiting at the low “disgust at her choices”.

So… without her there to obsess over, who are you? Nobody? No clue, right? Don’t despair brother, that’s just what happens to people who have succumbed to addiction. We sometimes get a little lost along the way.

To regain some inner stability, stop obsessing, you have to give her up. A blossom that faded, fell away, past. Turned addicted, dramatic, unhealthy, an enabler and an addict, an addict and an enabler. Let it go, you have bigger needs in need of your precious attention.

The good news is that the path of recovery can be quite fun. Its time to relearn what you like in this world without her, in body or as an obsession. Grieve the loss, and move on, into your hobbies and other interests. If you don’t have any, or they’re tasteless, consider finding some new ones. If you can volunteer your time helping others, even better. A win-win hobby, as helping others grows contentedness quickly.

Namaste, brother, may you give it up, take a look around, and find the fun in being you.

With warmth,
Matt