Kimberly,

The answer to “is it wrong to love?” is always no, the heart just does what it does. But what you choose to do with your feelings can bring positive or less positive results. Does your soul friend’s wife understand, accept and encourage him to remain open and heartfelt with you? Its not a party of four if three are happy and content and one is miserable and jealous… 🙂 However, if the four of you are aware, happy, connected, who is to say it should be different than it is?

As far as Buddhism is concerned, it typically condones mindful action. Such as, be romantic and loving with whom you desire, but watch closely, with open eyes and a focused mind. That’s what helps us find the difference between skillful and unskillful, allowing us to drop the unskillful. Is there something the soul friend gives you that your husband cannot/doesn’t? Said differently, perhaps the yearning for another comes from an unmet need, which if you could figure out what it is, the intimacy with your husband could become more fulfilling. But, its your dance, sister, and love deserves our tender attention no matter what paths we travel… that’s how we stay in tune with the music. 🙂

With warmth,
Matt