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Hi Heidi,
I am a fellow sufferer of panic attacks and about 6 months ago my experience was identical to yours, I felt constantly anxious which made me nauseated and even made me throw up on occasion, the nausea was so overwhelming that at times I truly believed that it would kill me, that I couldn’t bear it, that it would never end. It was all I thought about and like you everywhere I went I anticipated feeling sick, being sick and that anxiety inevitably made me feel queasy and have to leave the situation, its a horribly self-fulfilling cycle.
I thought if I limited what I ate that I could at least give my body less to throw up and try and control it that way and like you I lost a lot of weight. Of course then I started to worry that I would suffer from malnutrition, that would harm me, and it went on and on. The nature of that kind of free-floating anxiety is that it will attach itself to new triggers constantly unless you address the root cause.
Anyway – My heart goes out to you in your situation, I know how paralysing and distressing it can be.. I have a few suggestions based on my own experiences which I hope can help a little.
Firstly a few practical suggestions or ‘triage’ for coping with the feelings of nausea and being sick:
– I found peppermint tea and capsules to swallow very soothing when I felt sick, even smelling it would make me feel better sometimes so I took to carrying a little bottle of peppermint oil with me to use almost like smelling salts!
– A hot water bottle was (and still is) one of my best friends and most relied on first aids for a queasy tummy, in fact any soft pressure (like a cushion or rolled up sweater) held against your stomach can be comforting because of the stimulation of the vagus nerve which reaches into your abdomen (sorry I’m a bit of a nerd and getting into the biology of anxiety has been very reassuring for my own mind!)
-When I felt that I couldn’t even look at or eat food, I could sometimes bring myself to drink a smoothie or very finely blended protein shake. This is not a permanent solution to nutrition but it certainly helped me to be able to keep some much needed nutrients down and get my strength back. Science bit again : hypoglycemia or low blood sugar, which I constantly had from being too nauseated to eat, can actually feel very very similar to anxiety in the body (dizzy, jittery, thoughts racing, heart palpitations) and though I’m not suggesting that this is the cause of your anxiety, it could compound any anxious sensations you may already have. So any liquid nourishment you can stomach (soup, milk, shakes,smoothies) taken in small sips sitting somewhere you feel relatively safe (I used to like sitting anywhere outside, as long as I had fresh air) can do wonders to take the edge off anxiety and allow your body to stabilize a little.
-I’m not a big advocate of medication BUT if you are feeling like you are in a panic cycle (day after day of mini panic attacks, constant anxiety over the next one, no let-up) it can be very difficult to break that momentum, especially if your body is hungry. In my case I ended up taking a single Valium prescribed by my doctor to give myself a much needed ‘afternoon off’ in fact during that period of relief I found I could eat a little as the anxiety-related nausea subsided somewhat. Now I know people can have different experiences with medication, and its certainly a last resort for me but I see it as a tool, like the hot water bottle and the peppermint, they aren’t going to cure your anxiety but they can have their uses in the short term as a bit of a stop-gap solution when you are just finding it hard to accomplish the basics like eating and sleeping. Once your body has a little rest and nutrition it will be a lot easier to navigate your way out of the fog that is panic and that can certainly be accomplished in the long term without medication.
On a deeper level, to address the your panic and anxiety causes I will make a few brief suggestions, again based on my own experience.
– I find a two-pronged approach very helpful because by addressing both the mind and body you can ground yourself physically and calm your nervous system thus giving your body a chance to heal and restore homeostasis, and also investigate what thought patterns, trauma or mistaken beliefs are feeding your anxiety, so CBT which was suggested by another member above or another form of talk therapy or consultation with your teacher, in combination with reflexology, yogic breathing, massage, yoga, EFT, Cranio Sacral therapy, Somatic Experiencing, or another physical, grounding technique can be wonderfully complementary. Especially when you are at the stage of trying to ‘come down’ from a period of acute anxiety. For me personally, Cranio Sacral therapy and reflexology were the practices which gave me a noticeable shift in how I felt in my body, they seemed to discharge a certain amount of the anxious energy and made me feel more stable physically.
Gosh I talked a lot there.. I am by no means an expert in this, Im just a fellow sufferer who has struggled like you and tried many many different things to relieve it. I do hope that you find relief from this soon, I promise it does get better, although I know that can be hard to believe ! The body has an amazing capacity to heal itself, ground itself and find balance – a wisdom all of its own, whereas the mind is a different beast (but best to get yourself physically stronger before you attempt to delve in there!)
Best wishes and thoughts for your recovery !
Eva