Answers to the questions:

1. & 2. I had had a falling out with a close friend of mine and she found me to be a toxic person in her life and told me exactly what I had done to her and how she felt about me. I asked her to tell me though, because I was completely in the dark about her feelings. When she told me she didn’t hold anything back and those words that she told me are the ones I repeat in my head.

I’ve already disappointed people and its become so common that people have learned not to expect alot out of me and to not get their hopes up. I am afraid of not being myself. Everything I do, I look and I wonder if I am doing this thing because I want to or because I feel like I should. I have taken risks and done things in the past and before things turned out fine. Then I started to make bad decisions and choices unknowingly. I would go into something with full confidence believing that I had made a great choice and then come to find out that I chose incorrectly and screwed myself over.

Overall the fear is making the same mistakes I did in the past and not moving forward like I hope to.

I am good at so many things and I have my own charms and perks, I just don’t know or remember how to utilize those like I have done before.

The positive thing that I currently have in my mind to use as my fuel now, is the fact that I have turned my life around 360 degrees before. I am just worried that it might be too late for me to do that again.