Big Blue,

Do you not have a break pedal? Its all or nothing? Can you take a taste, share a dance, and see where it goes? It seems that as your heart gets intrigued, your mind starts running in all sorts of “what if” fantasies. Can you set that aside? That’s where the freedom rests… not in avoiding or grasping at her. If you go on a date, be there. If you’re not on a date, be where you are, do your do, set down the future possibilities and tend your life, be present, clean the dishes, carry the water, chop the wood.

BB, it seems like you’re scared of your feelings, which is normal because they can be painful sometimes. If you both share interests, go enjoy some together if she’s interested. You can’t predict the outcome, and trying to dream up other people’s responses is a waste, and trying comes from fear. They’re not us, don’t act like us, so if we want to know their side, we have to talk to them about it. Said differently, how many conversations have you had with her in your head? Is it surprising that her responses sound like your own fears?

With warmth,
Matt