Alyce,

In addition to TRs heartfelt and wise words, consider that you can’t control others. Your heart is so strong, it wants to run to the aid of every family member, as a superwoman, a champion of love, justice. But they don’t see it, make choices that scare you, seem wrong, foolish, whatnot. Ick, what to do? The conflicts can quickly stack up, leave impressions on us, until to see our children, loved ones, is to see a mess. Chaos.

The secret here is to let it go. You can’t control it, can’t be the anchor. Can’t stop them from making mistakes, and sometimes they’re not even mistakes, they know it better than you. But you did your best, and that’s all we can do. You brought your heart, to them, and in the closet crying. There you were, what a beauty.

To let the past go, consider forgiving yourself, others, and hoping that whatever ripples show up for them today are warm, happy, full of safety and friendship. As TR gently noted, consider saying “they’re on their journey, where do I wish to take mine” and pick up a brush and lay some paint to canvas. What do you want to see on it?

This helps us in many ways, including becoming more nourishing to our loved ones, when we feel the inspiration to give it, choose to. “I need some space, I’m heading into my cave for awhile to paint/sew/meditate/craft/whatever” is often the most loving choice. For them, and us.

With warmth,
Matt