Actually I’m with my parents ,I’m taking care of them .its just that when I went,for forgiveness it all went out of control . I’m still nun but my guru will never forgive me for what I have done to him .its just killing me .my sister they said they will help to get out of country but still I m not sure what to do about my guru I know I can’t change the past but I will always feel that I played with his feeling . How can I had forget that I’m the one that was asking for forgiveness. He said if I stayed at home being nun for him I’m not a nun .