Caring guy,

Yeah, the hero gets beat down pretty regularly, its something we have to expect, accept, let go. So you failed to stand up for your boundaries in that moment. However, your ex wife’s discomfort is no excuse for her crossing that boundary, sounds like a intentional/unintentional sabotaging your newly blossoming connection. Consider next time “umm back off, they are my kids. That stuff comes through me, to me. Not to the folks in my life. That is not your business. Understand?” or something to that effect. To heal the impact on your intimacy, “hey, I can’t control her, and I’m sorry she did that. I told her to back off, that it was unwelcome. How we choose to be with our children is between us and them. So, what’s next? Want to go dancing?” Etc.

To “find the inner caring guy” that she’s looking for, reconsider the advice to self nurture. The effort of it hones us, so we are ready to be open, playful when its time. What do you do besides her? That’s what needs tending now, lunch will happen when it does. Maybe do a little grooming? 🙂 Clean out your car? Vacuum? Trim your beard? Sort and file? Pick up your guitar? What’s needed? Look around!

With warmth,
Matt