Shouldn’t be that way, huh? That sounds pretty harsh with yourself, as though your insecurity isn’t just, as though it arises for no reason. This simply isn’t true, its there for a reason. Much like “I shouldn’t be limping”, as self judging when we have a twisted ankle. The insecurity, the limping, is a result. Not some “thing” you just have because you’re “broken” or “faulty”.

I do understand what you mean, though, his friendship with a woman doesn’t inherently cause insecurity, but in your relationship, it does. Perhaps because he kept in contact with you while trying to work it out with another. Now, perhaps you fear you are that other, and he’s still shopping.

Again, this heals with time and tender communication. Not just by biting a leather strap and willing yourself not to be insecure. You can ease the insecure feeling by befriending it, accepting it as real, reasonable, just an emotion, and lots of self nurturing. Like we may stay off a bad ankle, if you find you’ve been triggered, moving to a nurturing space helps the mental race unfold, the body let go.

With warmth,
Matt