Katie,

This is going on a year of feeling cruddy now? And from “just a crush” to a weird threesome/living in mistress? And he belittles you? I admire your heart, but this relationship doesn’t seem to be working out well for you. Ya know?

Perhaps set him free, set yourself free, move on. You deserve to be the main event, not a third wheel wife. Said differently, I don’t think your mind is sabotaging the relationship, rather, perhaps your mind is trying to help you see your “love bank” has been empty for awhile, not getting the tender attentions it needs to feel safe, content.

With warmth,
Matt