I can’t add to any of these posters aobve me, u got great insights…..i am reading that you are still attached to him…attached to “getting even” “why should he be happy when i am still miserable???” i see that as your motive for saying”hi” to him, you were checking up on him , kinda…..well, you dn’t KNOW for SURE he is happy, AND people who have no regard for others just continue their merry way, making bad karma, and trust me, his will come..someone he will really need will treat him like crap….but you give your power to him ea. time you contact him and have to go through the feelings…trust me, I know..been there..done that…detachment from one who deserves the roof to fall on them is hard, but we gotta give them over to the universe….u block his lessons coming at him when you “get in the way” of the energy/lessons he put in motions for himself….he set this in motion by mal treating any living creature, be it human or animal, he set this in motion and he will pay the price….but you need to detach and free yourself of him……i would work on me, work on why i am still attached to him…what is the payoff here??? what coda need is in you to keep wanting contact with him…..desire for self punishment??? you can’t forgive you for something in your past so you punish yourself with this toxic person who hurt you??? i know when i used to gravite towards abusers, it was this need within me (the payoff) to punish me for being a helpless child in my family of origin and having to cope with abuse and not being able to stop my parents from abusing all of us helpless kids…..i bought into their sicko mind sets that are no longer my own, but i had to get into 12 steps recovery rooms to re-claim me and take back my life….BE with yoru feelings…DONT deny them….TALK till you don’t have to talk anymore, but set a boundary, week #2 you talk less of him /think less of him that week #1 and so on….and look to the solution as you vent out the feelings re: the problem……never deny your feelings but realize that feelings are not facts..just feelings that we have to discharge so we cna get to acceptance and acceptance means we can finally walk away, lesson learned and we go on…….as to 4giveness??? to me it is highly over rated…2 me 4giveness MEANS…MY deciding to let go of HIS bad energy that will return to him, and my deciding to discharge the feelings…give over his lessons to the universe…trust that he will experience the “what you do to others” and do what i can to take care of me, and focus on me…4giveness is an action of 1..it just means to get out all the feelings….accept….walk away….release them to their lessons……………..reconciliation is an action of 2…it means you decide to reconcile, which why would you to an abuser?? he will only repeat….and 4giveness has NOTHING to do with reconciliation….4giveness is the gift you give to you, when you’ve vented all the feelings and you decide to take you out of this picture and love yourself and move on your separate way and NO CONTACT with him….what for??? it serves no purpose but to pick open a scab…let that scab dry up and fall away……….just saying