Jen,

Yes, that’s exactly right. Leaving the front porch light on isn’t very loving to yourself, as it leaves the mystery unsettled, bringing a natural discomforting powerlessness in “having to wait”. But your question wasn’t “how do I break up with him, grieve, and move on?”. So, to balance the unsolved mystery, consider being especially tender to yourself with extra self nurturing.

So, how long do you wait for him to heal? That’s between you and your heart. If you can be patient, he might come to his senses, see that your light is on, and find his way home. Maybe not, though. That’s between him and his heart. Love always requires patience, but it shouldn’t be an endurance trial. What’s the timeline like at this point for you? Do you want to wait? Do you wish to rephrase your question? Consider that self caring activities help us let go, so the mystery doesn’t pull our attention so heavily, doesn’t capture us.

With warmth,
Matt