Hi Trevor,
I think many people out there think like you, including myself. I was taught at an early age that in order for someone else to respect me, I must respect myself first and to me, “having fun” with people isn’t necessarily respecting myself, it’s only a means to satisfy natural human desires. I think the key to finding someone who wants the same thing is being real with people. When I first met my current boyfriend, I told him very honestly that I wasn’t looking for games. Whether that meant us being platonic friends, or investing in a romantic relationship, I felt like I had to extend that open line of communication between us. And prior to my boyfriend, I communicated that to people who were interested in pursuing me. Some appreciated it, and others didn’t even bother talking to me again, but the fact is, the ones who appreciated that and stuck around were the ones who were genuinely interested in getting to know me as a person. I think that communication is key. Even when in a relationship, two people may have two different ideas on what it means to open up, however with open communication and a willingness to understand, finding someone who truly values you and cares about your feelings/perspectives, you can invest your time and love into something more than just having fun.

All the best,
Reanna