Thank you very much G, I very much appreciate what you wrote and for taking the time.

It was indeed a perfect storm of terrible events in such a short time. And with the timing of Mom plus the relationship, I know now that I put her on a pedestal as something I needed to make me happy, especially during this grieving process. This whole situation has opened my eyes to some self-esteem and codependency issues I think I’ve had most of my life but just now realizing and working, so that is something good that came out of all this, self-awareness. Also, it was my 1st relationship so all those feelings I just got hooked on, and made some rookie mistakes.

I completely agree with what you said about not actually missing her or thinking she is some amazing girl, it’s just the idea of her, and yes the security and validation I felt with her. Who she is specifically is not right for me, or even someone I want in my life. It just took a long time to realize that and let go, which means the dependency was just that strong. I agree no contact is the way to go. I’m just glad I got some closure, now I can continue moving on.

Thanks again for all your kind words 🙂