I have been were you are twice. The second time about 6 years ago. You will get through this, have patient with yourself. Do things slow, everything will fall into place in time. You will look back and realize that your breakdown was necessary to help you recover. I was told from a Therapist, is like having a tooth that has been aching. The decay has been removed and a new filling been placed. I hope this will help. Be gentle and kind with yourself.