Hi,

Thank you for your kind and wonderful words.
things have moved along a little bit since last week. i have opended up more. have started a diary so that when the feelings get to much i can put them on paper (or screen) and they unjumble themselves so its not so overwelming.
i hate it when he wants to talk about it… i get sick in the stomach and want to vomit. i hate seeing pics of myself from back in the bad times. im still not comfortable to look in the mirror and i still havnt found that self love.
but i dont want to hurt myself anymore.
im trying to realise this is a slow process and im not going to reach ultimate forgiveness for some time.
im just trying to live in the present and stay positive.
i still wish i had someone to speak to that had been in the same place i was. but then again maybe i need to focus on me. i contunually compare myself to others, especially people i used to party with – they partied as much as me but they werent promiscuous, why couldnt i have been more like them.
my boyfriend tells me always how beautiful i am but i just see a used up slut.
hopefully unraveling will stop soon and we can start the slow process of winding back up