Hi, Steve.

You surely do sound like a great and thoughtful man. Remember that. I think that dating should be fun and I also think that moving too fast is a red flag, particularly for a woman who has been cheated on. Self-reliance has nothing to do with it, it’s all about self-preservation. I don’t think two months is a long time. I don’t think three months is either…Most relationships that start like wildfire end in a pile of ashes. Too much too soon is a red flag to me now that I’ve been burned and landed in that pile. Value yourself and all else will follow. Being choosy about who you share yourself with (like the woman you describe above) is not a negative trait, to me it is priceless. It means she values herself and doesn’t just give herself away to anyone who shows a bit of interest. I am speaking here from my own experience and do not mean to read too much into the situation or sound preachy. I hope that you read this and know that I support you and admire you for your striving to do the right thing. That, too, is not a negative trait! It, too, is priceless and will serve you well in the long run.

I have learned the hard way that letting someone “in” too soon isn’t always smart or best. Trust, and true love, take time and patience to develop. Communication is KEY. It sounds like you are ready to do some communicating about where you’re at right now. She has told you that she is not seeing anyone else. Believe her on that. Trust that she is being kind and gracious with you, too.

As a very wise community member said above, try not to worry about outcomes and just enjoy the experience of getting to know someone, of flirting and having fun, of being kind and feeling good about being kind, and the rest will fall in place.

I hope this helps you some, Steve.

Sincerely,
cat dancing