Greetings

These forums are challenging because one doesn’t know who is responding or the respondent’s background, etc. The issue described by Melissa is complex and has several emotional, psychological,legal, parental, financial, etc. implications. I share my story for what it is, however, I whole-heartedly endorse “jaye.d’s” response and don’t agree with most of what “alok” states.

Here was my experience with an ex who viewed porn with increasing deviancy over the course of our marriage http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Auburn-man-accused-of-owning-40-000-child-porn-1383154.php. My daughters were 13 yrs and 17 yrs at the time of his arrest. There’s obviously much more to this, but the take away is your family is being impacted this situation and action is required.

I encourage you to enlist the right mix of professionals – including a couple’s therapist for you both – to help you all figure out what the best course of action is for your family. In my opinion, your spouse can’t be trusted and I assume the proper therapist could help you all develop operating procedures to protect everyone involved, including helping you decide whether your family can stay intact (if that’s what you want to really try to accomplish), or if it can’t. Sweeping any of this under the rug is a huge mistake in my opinion; you need to figure out a course of action for yourself and the kids. If your spouse feels persecuted or blame the issue on you (as alok has implied) you may have your answer that starting over without him is the best course of action.