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blm,
I really like what Kim wrote to you about all of us being on the same journey. So true that is. We all are here trying to figure out the truth about ourselves.
It really does seem as though you are as critical on yourself as you are on others. I think that whenever we see something dark inside us, we tend to focus on that as opposed to the light side of the same coin. The light side of that coin you describe is the wise discerning person. That is also the more true of who you really are.
It isn’t easy being able to manage disappointments from others, when they don’t live up to our standards. I have found the way out is about looking at myself first. What does that disappointment say about the kind of world I want to create? My ideal. My dreams get revealed to me that way. So maybe when someone does not meet your expectations, you could focus on any lost, stolen or unmet dreams that can be revealed. I find these are usually at the heart of anger toward others when they don’t meet my expectations.
My husband and I are so different and we do things so differently. We could drive each other crazy if that was our choice. Instead we accept each other and our ways as expressions of uniqueness that brought us together. We still get frustrated in the moment, but when we take the time to step back and accept ours self and then the other, it is those very differences that spark so many creations and dreams for us.
I know you asked for some spiritual advice without religion, so here goes. We are all born with unique strengths, powers and talents. Yes we are all different and what we choose to focus on and how we choose to view those differences can make a huge difference in finding peacefulness with each other, in my opinion. You are on a real adventurous journey to be celebrated. You have the strength, power and talent to handle this. You are here to do that very thing and when you decide to go to the other side of the physucal, you will celebrate how well you did it.
Susan Suehr